Answered prayer

Yesterday God reminded me that I had prayed for Him to renew a clean heart in me. And that is exactly what He is doing. Just like I’ve heard said, when you pray for patience, you will be put in a circumstance to grow that patience. These things are not just magically bestowed upon us, not unless God decides a miracle is in short order.

So my heart is being scourged. The pain is being brought up again and again for the purpose of addressing, removing, and then healing the wounds. We do this as many times as it takes because sometimes we can only handle a little scourging at a time.

Then it will be tested. Did it take? Is it sustainable? I have cried so much this past week, not because of present circumstances, or because I feel sorry for myself, but because God is answering that prayer by revealing the leftover hurt and callouses on my heart. Maybe we’re at the testing stage, not a pass or fail test, but a beta test, what’s left to tweak, what still lingers, and then maybe the practice stage, until it is made perfect in me.

I believe, a. this is a gift and reminder, a testament, proof of God’s divine love for me that He should answer my prayer, and want me to be free from pain, bitterness, and anger from the past. 2.God is faithful in answering our prayers. They don’t always look way we expect them to, and they don’t always feel good. The refining is a painful process, but I feel encouraged because God is creating a renewed heart in me, and I am in love with this image I have of my future self showing up in this world with only love. Then I can truly be of service.

Big smiles and happy Friday,

Elisha