A used book and a contemplation
I love going on the hunt for used books. First of all, I see no reason to buy new books when there are so many used books out there. I also dislike very much the risk of spending money on a book I might hate and never finish. I am not a gambler by any means :)
My penchant for used books is more than dollars and cents or repurposing. I don't go looking for particular books, I let the right book find me. And they always do. There hasn't been a book I've found when at some point I hadn’t thought, ‘Aha, now I know why the universe brought us together at this very moment in time, my little book friend’.
I also love finding the classics, and old copies of them. I don't go for the typical classic-Robinson Caruso, Little Women, Jane Eyre etc. I seek the psychological books like The Bell Jar, or books on meaning, like Man's Search for Meaning, my favorite. This is probably why I picked up A Thomas Merton Reader. It was old, 1974 old, and the cost at the time-wait for it, $2.95. I got it for a steal at 25¢!
Truth be told, this book has been on my bookshelf since I don't know when. Recently I've been seeking out books on spirituality and Christianity, and was blessed to find three books that were so timely for me. But one day when I was fresh out of books, I heard a voice say-What's on your own bookshelf Elisha?
So I peeked. The only books I keep are the books I fall in love with, or have a profound effect on me. On this day, I didn't go for those. I grabbed this one. It was one of the few I bought but hadn't read yet.
Talk about timing. Pleeasee tell me you've had the out of body experience of reading a sentence, paragraph, idea, that mirrors thoughts you have but never heard another share? It is an incredible experience, and one this book has given me too many times to list here.
I feel so validated in the contemplations of Thomas Merton, and why it matters in this context, is because the validation mirrors what I painstakingly study and pray over-understanding people and life and God. At a time when I needed confirmation that my own contemplations are not so far fetched, this book comes along and tells me NO-I see it too.
I have dog eared and highlighted so much of this book but narrowed down one perspective I wanted to share, because it aligns so deeply with the vision statement I wrote in October for HAS Wellness Consultants-
Our vision is for every man, woman, and child, to know and believe they have intrinsic value and worth, and to be treated with honor, dignity, and respect.
It took pages and pages and hours and hours of iterations to find a way to express my idea of what I believe to be the problem and solution to our current world crisis.
But here's how Thomas Merton said it better than I ever could:
“ He who cannot love feels unworthy, and at the same time feels that somehow no one is worthy. Perhaps he cannot feel love because he thinks he is unworthy of love, and be cause of that he also thinks no one else is worthy”. (A Body of Broken Bones)
“Your idea of me is fabricated with materials you have borrowed from other people and from yourself. What you think of me depends on what you think of yourself. Perhaps you create your idea of me out of material that you would like to eliminate from your own idea of yourself. Perhaps your idea of me is a reflection of what other people think of you. Or perhaps what you think of me is simply what you think I think of you.
“Our ability to be sincere with ourselves, with God, and with other men is really proportionate to our capacity for sincere love. And the sincerity of our love depends in large measure on our capacity to believe ourselves loved. Most of the moral and mental and even religious complexities of our time go back to our desperate fear that we are not and can never be really loved by anyone”.(Sincerity)
Most religions have their version of the Golden Rule- “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. But, if I think I deserve to be treated poorly, then I seek those who treat me poorly.
The Bible says the second greatest commandment is “You shall love your neighbor as yourself”. But, if I treat myself like dirt, then that’s how I’ll treat others.
Not believing I have value and worth removes my capacity to expect more, or to give more. I cannot give what I do not possess. We need a systemic revolution of belief in the intrinsic value of all because we are human beings, then we will have the capacity to treat ourselves and others with honor, dignity and respect.
When a person acts with hostility or disregard toward another, it is a red flag of their hostility or disregard towards themselves, or much worse. We might not ever know how ended up that way, but it is imperative we do not contribute to that self-limiting belief by fueling it with the same rhetoric. I know it is so counterintuitive to act with honor towards someone who has been awful, but it’s the only way to create a kind and loving world. Think of it as a purely selfish act- they feel good about themselves, it feels good to be around them :)
Thomas Merton had a beautiful mind, and was able to share it with us in his beautiful stories, contemplations, and poems. I highly recommend.
Smiles,
Elisha
The Golden Rule in religions