Nothing compares to you
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
― Theodore Roosevelt
This quote came to me in the middle of the night and urged me to write about it. Comparison must be on my mind lately as I have been thrust into the world of social media and marketing in order to grow HWC. I rate my posts, website, Facebook and Instagram input, against what I see everyone else is doing. My contribution sometimes feels sophomoric in comparison to theirs.
I made the mistake of looking at a former colleague’s website last week. I like to use the ‘I’m just curious’ nugget as a reason to bat away the voice in my head that knows when I’m about to make a decision not likely to pan out in my favor.
I looked at her blogs and immediately started questioning my own. Hers were full of well written verse on therapeutic techniques, the origins of therapeutic techniques; all very scholarly. I love the idea of educating the public on mental health, treatment, and how to understand themselves better, and I applaud her for that. But my way of imparting that information is a lot different. I began to question if I should use this platform to teach my readers about CBT or DBT or EMDR by being more direct, more academic.
So I had a decision to make- feel insecure about my voice, and change it to be like everyone else’s, or maintain my authenticity, believing my people will find me if I stay the course. In the past, when I had to give a brief, had an interview, or wanted to impress someone and tried to prepare, I always fell back on just be yourself, just tell the truth of who you are and what you know and it’ll be alright. I’m not the best chess player, I can’t stay five steps ahead of you to try and manipulate your moves. If what I present is false, inauthentic, how can I even maintain that?
I once had a friend who used her assessment of other women’s level of attractiveness to gauge her own. If she determined they were less attractive then her, she felt good about herself. If she assessed they were more attractive, she (we) had a terrible night. It was an awful thing to witness my friend’s self-esteem be subject to a very capricious rating system. When I assess my work based on other’s, it’s the same capricious system, and I either win or lose. But I did just that. This imposter syndrome is new to me but so is this HWC enterprise. I have to give myself some grace, wide berth for growth, and when I look at other’s work it’s for learning purposes, not to criticize or change myself. On a good day, maybe even be inspired.
When my confidence is not 100%, I rely on being authentic as my go to. I absolutely believe people can sense bullshit anyway, and it feels counterintuitive to my mission. If I want people to come to me for therapy, trust me or let me speak on behalf of mental health matters, being real is the only tool I have that matters.
My voice here is my authentic self, and the voice I intend to stay true to in these posts. I hope it reaches the people I am writing it for because I want to touch lives. We all have something to offer in our own voice and I hope you feel able to share yours. If you’re not there yet, borrow the confidence from your future self who knows you are a bad ass.
When my daughter was 4, she used to make me play “Nothing compares 2 U”, by Sinead O’Connor, on repeat. At age 4, the lyrics meant nothing to her, she just loved to sing.
Because I can’t add video or audio here, please use your imagination. I’m sitting next to you, probably dressed in black or green, hair likely widely curly and messy, serenading you with these words:
'Cause nothing compares, Nothing compares to you.
Keep your joy :)
Big smiles,
Elisha